


Drowned

by pythia



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, I am really emo, NC-17 hand touching, Rey makes choices, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 18:37:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13106163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pythia/pseuds/pythia
Summary: A child of desert sand and the howls of R’iia, Rey didn’t know what drowning men looked like. Rey reached out, and with him, she drowned.





	Drowned

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Weatherbug02](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weatherbug02/gifts).



> Happy Holidays B! I hope you enjoy this! 
> 
> Thank you to HerSistersKeeper for beta reading and coaching me through this. Thank you to Underrated Reylo for organizing!

In her reading one afternoon, Rey came across a reference to something called a multiverse. Her education on Jakku could be called rudimentary, if one wanted to be kind about her early life living as a feral child, scavenging on the desert planet. No one taught her physics or literature.

Her searches on the Holonet revealed that the idea was that there were multiple universes laying upon her on, where thousands of possibilities played out. Rey sat and stared at her datapad, considering that there was another Rey that would have the strength to say no to Ben Solo. A Rey who didn’t take the hand of the broken boy in front of her and agree to stay.

A child of desert sand and the howls of R’iia, Rey didn’t know what drowning men looked like. She reached out and took Ben Solo’s hand. And with him, she drowned.

_ “You’re nothing, but not to me.”  _

No one had ever looked at her like that as if she was something more. Something valuable and desirable. Had she ever been wanted?  Finn had been her first real friend, but Kylo looked at her like she was a stack of portions locked away in Plutt’s booth. What did he want though? Was is it even anything that she could give? With shaking hands and a straight back, Rey settled her smaller hand inside Ben’s large, gloved hand. It was so different than by the fire on Ahch-to, that tough had held so much trepidation as they both reached out into the unknown. Which future would they have? Rey’s or Ben’s? 

In the corridors of the Supremacy, Rey had assumed that Ben would have her trail behind him, a shadow following in his wake. Instead, he pulled her to his side, nearly tucking her under his arm, “You are the Empress of the First Order. Your word is law. Stand beside me Rey, this is  _ our burden _ now.” Just like that, Ben had dropped the title of Empress on to her lap, as if was a piece of scrap that needed to be scrubbed prior to trading. Rey didn’t even have a surname, now she was an Empress. It was overwhelming. 

What did she do? Oh god, what had she done? 

It was clear that Ben was General Organa’s son as he barked out orders to his officers and crew. They all seemed like frightened animals or soldiers presented with a live grenade, apparently, Kylo Ren was an explosive creature. Their fear became palpable in the force as General Hux strode onto the bridge, his eyes falling on Rey immediately. 

“Ren, what do you think you’re doing here with this  _ scavenger _ ? She belongs in the brig,” Hux snarled, curling a lip at Rey and surveying her appraisingly. It was clear that Rey was not worth much, in his eyes. She raised her chin defiantly, it didn’t matter. Rey wasn’t alone anymore, and neither was Ben. 

“That is your new Empress. Supreme Leader Snoke is dead, and I am your Supreme Leader. Rey is your Supreme Leader,” Ben replied sharply, snapping his attention from the datapad that the Lieutenant in charge of Engineering had brought him about the damage they’d taken. 

“The Supreme Leader is dead? We have no Supreme Leader?” Hux was clearly shaken, as the staff on the bridge had been when they’d strode in and Ben had made his announcement, voice ringing through the silence that fell when they entered. 

Ben reached out with the Force and began squeeze Hux’s throat, “No. I am your Supreme Leader. Emperor Ren. This is Empress Rey, your Supreme Leader. Our word is law.” 

Rey shot him a look and felt for him through their bond, “Ben - you will not kill him in front of all these people. You’re not someone fighting over a salvage.” 

His dark gaze ripped from Hux and settled on Rey, Ben’s gaze full of rage. Seeing her, the fight seemed to drain from him, like Rey had pulled his rage away from him, like a magnet. 

“It seems your Empress wishes that you remain alive,” Ben’s voice was dark and conversational, “You owe her your allegiance for sparing your miserable life.” He let go of the Force that had been strangling Hux, his face had changed from pale, to red, and to blue in a matter of heartbeats. 

They left the bridge, and Rey couldn’t help but feel powerful, knowing that it was her word and no one else that had made Ben stay his hand. It was hard for her to remember that Ben had called himself Emperor Ren. Kylo Ren. Murderer. Jedi Killer. Rey’s heart stuttered and she began to doubt her choice. The fleet had been allowed to escape to Crait. Beyond that, there had been no discussion of what to do with the last of the Rebellion. 

Ben rounded a corner and reached out taking Rey by the hand, pulling her into a room that he opened by waving a casual hand towards a control panel. The door slid open, and they entered Ben’s bedroom, dark but for the light over the sink. 

“Come, no one will bother you in here,” Ben let go of Rey’s hand and stripped off his gloves, then his cape. She looked around at the table and chairs, sink and bed. It was all there in one room, minus the fresher, which had to be behind one of several doors around the room. She stood there awkwardly. Was she supposed to sit? At the table? R’iia help her on the bed? Rey thought back to the hunger and acceptance in Ben’s eyes in the throne room. The tiniest whispered, “please” that nearly had been her undoing right there. Hearing that small word had made Rey want to fling herself into him, wrapping her arms around his middle and promising never to leave. 

Amusement teased at the corner’s of Ben’s lips as he tossed the cape across a chair and the gloves on a table with a wet slap. “What are you thinking Rey? I can’t feel you anymore, you’ve closed yourself off,” Ben crossed to Rey, standing close enough to whisper. 

“I don’t know Ben. You called yourself Emperor Ren out there and I don’t know how to be an Empress or Jedi. I don’t know where I fit in all of this,” Rey kept the tremor out of her voice. She did open herself to Ben, just a trickle of her fear, uncertainty, and excitement leaked out between them. Ben’s breath caught, feeling her through the Force, and somehow his eyes grew even darker, pupils dilating. Rey stepped back and bumped into an armchair that faced an Oculus.

“Rey, I am going to kiss you,” Ben breathed as he bent down and brushed his lips against hers, noses bumping awkwardly. It was like touching in her hut on Ahch-to, only  _ more _ . Rey could see more clearly into Ben’s mind - his fear and uncertainty, along with a desire that she hadn’t known was there. 

Pressing their mouths together more insistently, Ben opened his mouth and his tongue unexpectedly touched Rey’s lips.  Shivering, Rey opened her mouth and wrapped her arms around Ben’s neck, “Ben, Ben, Ben.” 

As they kissed, Rey continued to feel as if she was siphoning off the darkness from inside Ben. They bumped foreheads awkwardly as Ben walked back towards his bed, their hands fumbling for purchase, trying desperately to touch as much of the other’s skin as possible. Rey could feel through the bond that he craved her, and needed her to keep the darkness at bay. It was a feeling that could easily become addictive, being needed by someone  _ so badly _ after so long. 

They sat on the edge of the bed, no longer kissing, but looking at each other, truly searching the other, as if they were trying to verify that the other was indeed real. 

“Rey? I’ve never done this. I think you should know that” Ben fumbled, the commanding, confident voice that he’d used earlier was gone. He sounded more like the boy in the chamber. So lost and alone, all he could say to Rey was, “please.” 

He pressed his forehead against Rey’s, wrapping his arms around her and Rey was lost. She could never go back, never turn away from the lost boy who’d found her and gave her a home. 

According to the Holonet, drowning was the most peaceful way for a human to die. Sinking into darkness, breath slipping from her lungs. It sounded very much like the first time she kissed Ben Solo and drowned in him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! [Say hi on Tumblr!](http://pythiaspeaks.tumblr.com)


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